I’ve been to (the mountain of gifts at) the baby shower for my first grandchild (it’s a boy!) and I’m here to tell you: they don’t make babies like they used to.
Honestly, I don’t know how my two sons survived without a Boppy, a Bouncer, a Pak n Play, a Snap-N-Go, a Piddle Pad, a Peapod, and a Moby Wrap. Imagine the hardship of starting out in life in the first tender months without sucking pads, sleep sacks, MamaRoo and that all-essential Sophie Giraffe?
At the shower there were soft, fuzzy mounds of baby blues and baby loot. Unwrapped, oohed and ahhhed by all. But the highlight of the afternoon arrived just as guests were leaving, when my husband and son walked through the door in triumph, carrying ... BOB.
B.O.B. As in Baby on Board? Baby Out Bound?
BOB. Clever name for a baby stroller with massive male appeal.
Like a Bud.
Mind you, BOB is no sissy-baby-carriage. BOB, for anyone who has just landed on the planet of new parenthood, is well known as a “baby sports utility vehicle” (more commonly understood as a racing stroller). Racing through the magic years, are we?
Remember moms-of-yore, rolling through the malls with umbrella strollers? So portable (collapsable), so convenient (and presumably hazardous). With its all-three-wheel drive and enough safety features on board to have actual recalls (noting a recent concern over a drawstring on the rear of its canopy) BOB is an entirely different animal.
As I learned from my 30-second google-research, BOB stands for Beast of Burden, the name of the original company, now fondly called Bobgear. Beast of Burden? Strange imagery for a newborn, but somehow the product manages to captivate new sherpa parents, particularly new dads, so susceptible to the fear that a baby-in-arms will forever hamper independence and mobility, upwards, sideways or otherwise. Not surprisingly the BOB company started in the 90’s making bike trailers called Yaks.
To those unfamiliar with the high style of conveyance of today’s tuned-in, well-appointed and wired parents with their young progeny, the BOB promises:
“a renewed sense of sanity . . . a means to “explore the potential of each day”
Imagine the ability to “keep rolling in a straight line,” no matter what curves are thrown your way on the path of life.
Yow. Who can resist that ironman stroller with its fast-track car seat adapter, attachable snack tray, state of the art suspension system, lightweight alloy wheels, hand and parking brakes, sunroof canopy, and cargo bay for carry-on essentials?
Wherever life takes you, you’ve got to be prepared.
And so my son was smitten with this thing, The BOB.
All too familiar to me in my years of parenting, I’ve seen that look in my son’s eyes, that obssession with an object of desire -- that retail lust -- for a Star Wars action figure, for a LEGO Galaxy Explorer, for Super Mario Land on Gameboy, for an Xbox, for his first car, for a diamond ring, for a mortgage, for a dog, for a DROID, . . . and now The BOB. (Wherever life takes you.)
There's a baby in there somewhere. (My son is the one with the lollipop.)
At the three-month mark now, I’m happy to report, Dad, Mom and Baby (and Dog) are all doing quite well with The BOB, thank you. (Noting that the Snap N Go on loan, works best for travel.) Grandparents are moving gamely along as well, wherever life takes us.
Word on the street, BOBgear is bound to have exciting new strollers in development. Watch for:
BOBsled. With its revolutionary new aluminum alloy sleigh-runner attachment, here’s a BOB equipped for Alpine sports and the need for speed.
iBOB. Wired, USB-port ready, and onStar for superior navigation around the block to Starbucks.
xBOB. Training wheels for the digitally dextrous in the highly competitive world of video sports. Are you game?
BOBWalker. A new generation BOB in a 4-door sedan model, equipped with extra seating enabling toddler to powerwalk grandparents.
BOBBoard. Why walk when you can roll on state-of-the-art ball bearing wheels of a skateboard? Winter conversion kit available for snowboarding.
BOBSwifter. A multi-tasker for homebodies, with special attachments for cleaning and polishing floors.
BOBRumba. Walk baby and pick up toys on the floor. With its power vacuum attachment, this BOB clears any path you choose at home.
WaterBOB. Fully aquatic, equipped for beach landings with water wings and flotation seats.
DecathaBOB. First international competition, to be held at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio. Get ready.
(Just kidding around.)
Photos: VHenoch and bobgear.com
Thanks for strolling by